A
LETTER TO ME FROM ME
10th October 2012
Hi Wayne,
I hope this letter finds you well. I'll start by
introducing myself. I am Wayne Brown from the future. I know this
will be hard for you to comprehend as it is 1982 where you are, and
being only 15 years old there are many things that you believe you
know and understand but unfortunately there are many things you have
yet to learn about and experience, just as there are still many
things for me to learn about and experience.
You currently stand as a young teen on the cusp of
approaching adulthood, your life spread before you like a massive
network of paths and possibilities. I would like to tell you that
you have an easy life in front of you, a life rich with love,
enjoyment, achievement, satisfaction and abundance but unfortunately
I know the the path that we will take to get to the position where I
am now. The path is littered with decisions that we will make based
on ignorance, naiveté and sometimes just plain stupidity. We will
stumble, and hurt ourselves more than a few times. We will leave
broken relationships behind us, missed opportunities, and wasted
possibilities. It hasn't all been a waste of time though. We have
learnt much and met some great people who have really opened our
eyes. Where I am now is a pretty cool place, once again with a future
of paths and possibilities.
It has only happened because I opened myself up to you
back then, and asked you where we were going to go. You told me and
I decided to get control back of our lives and start to live from our
heart. It has not been easy and is at times down right scary, but I
can feel our confidence growing and the fear start to shrink.
I know that at the moment, you don't feel confident or
worthy. I know that there will be dark times and despondence that
overwhelms you. There will be wrong decisions, there will be
decisions based more on what others supposedly want for you and other
decisions that have no real basis other than some story you will buy
into.
I can't tell you what to do, or how to avoid some of the
mistakes, because I can't. No matter how informed I make you, you
are going to stuff up. That is the nature of life, for it is through
mistakes that we learn. All I can offer as advice is, to learn about
the following things and become conversant, confident and
knowledgable. Don't leave things to chance.
Learn about yourself, your dreams, your aspirations, the
things that make your heart sing. These are the things that will
carry you through the dark times. Learn what you believe about
yourself and if it doesn't lift you up or make you desire to be
better that you are now, question it, alter it to be what you need
and commit it to memory. You only have one life, don't waste it be
playing down your magnificence. You have amazing gifts as we all do,
and the world would suffer if it never got to see your gifts. Be all
you can be and believe it in every cell of your body. Watch your
thoughts for they become your feelings, which will become your words,
which will become your actions and your actions will become your
destiny. Be wary of what you let into your mind.
Learn to be a good partner. Learn how to love well.
Learn what good love is and never settle for less. You have an
abundance of love to give someone and don't waste it on people who
will not reciprocate. Learn to have a brave heart who is willing to
risk, but do not be reckless with your heart for it may be able to
absorb blows but it will bruise and the bruising takes some time to
go away. Keep in touch with your emotions, do not shut them away for
they will help you stay connected to yourself and your partner. Lift
your partner as much as they lift you and remember that an argument
that is about something that is not really important is an argument
not worth having. You will quickly learn that an argument that goes
for more than 30 minutes is about something far deeper than the
subject mentioned and needs something far more effective than an
argument. Learn to love well and be loved well. Pick well with your
partners and you will have joy, pick poorly and you will have many
years of anguish and pain. Years wasted with arguments and anger.
Pick well, ask the right questions.
Find a career that gives you joy. Work toward that
career, even if you have to fill some time doing something else to
build money or skills to do that job. Make sure it is something that
makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning for the excitement
it creates in you and let no-one sway you from that path. If they
try to convince you that you'll fail or aren't capable, find someone
who will encourage you until you decide and only you, that you aren't
suited to it. Finding joy, satisfaction and fulfilment in your job
in paramount to your life. Never settle for less.
Learn how money works. Learn how to budget, save,
invest and earn your money. There are some who say that money is not
important, but you can make more change in the world with money than
you can without. Learn about money. We all deserve wealth, not just
on money, but relationships, health, career, friendships,
spirituality and so on, but if you are broke, all of these areas
suffer. Learn about money. Do not squander your earned dollars for
they will enable you to do the good in this world that you want to
do. Learn about money. Learn how to make your money earn money for
you and not you earn the money. Learn to be comfortable with it, use
it wisely and make it grow.
Learn to keep your health. You are currently healthy
and will remain that way for most of your years, but do not take it
for granted. Do not start smoking. It is a stupid habit and you
will not enjoy coughing up crap or being told in your mid 20's that
you have the start of emphysema. Keep up mild exercise. You will
keep pretty good fitness but maintain suppleness and look after your
back. You don't know it at the moment but you will find out you have
an extra vertebrae which will cause you to have bad back pain. Look
after your back. You want to reach a healthy old age. We will all
pay for the choices we make to put our health down on the list.
Choose well in regard to your nutrition, health and exercise.
Definitely do not take health for granted. If you don't look after
your body, where are you going to live?
When you get to having children, sit down and discuss
it, ask the right questions, have them for the right reasons. Make
sure you're ready because being a parent is a big job, you can't do
it half baked. If you get this wrong, then your children will think
that is how you do it and they will get it wrong. Be a good partner
as well as a good parent as the two complement each other. Learn the
rules of parenting and apply them diligently in the early years for
the early work will pay off. To get you started, should you choose
to become a parent, remember these two rules; One; If it's 'no'
today, it's 'no' tomorrow. Do not waver on this one. Regardless of
whinging and pleading, stand firm. They will learn that 'no' is 'no'
and nothing will change that. It will save you all grief down the
track. 'No' is 'no', and 'yes' is 'yes' and never the twain shall
change. Two; Find the point where you lose it, draw a line there and
long before you are pushed to that point, get them to stop pushing.
If you lose your cool, the child has won the battle and you all
ultimately lose. Keep control of your emotions with kids. They need
to feel safe and you need to feel calm, loving and in control. This
will be your hardest job, if you choose this,it can give you the
highest of highs and the lowest of lows, but can bring great joy and
satisfaction if done well. Learn to be a good parent and raise good
children.
Finally, try your best to keep all of these things in
your life with a healthy balance. It will test you, keeping that
balance, but be diligent, regularly assess where you stand in your
journey and how you are progressing. Keep track of the journey so
you can see your progress. The journey forward is easier to control
if you can see where you've been. All the best things in life are
the ones you have to work for. They are worth working for and so are
you.
A few thoughts to help ease your journey. Remember that
when people cause you pain and anguish, it is not really about you
but about them. They have pain and anguish they are trying to ease
and unfortunately you are collateral damage. To get really upset,
ponder revenge or try to figure out why they did it will only lose
you sleep. Try to let that go as one of those things that you'll
never figure out, for even asking them will not yield the truth as
they aren't even aware what that truth is.
The only thing you can control is you. The only thing
you have any real and lasting influence over is you, so work on you.
Get control of you, your thoughts, your beliefs, your actions, for
controlling these you will have a semblance of control over your
life.
Your first love will break your heart in a few years.
It will hurt, but you will heal. Friends will leave you to seek
their path. You will change jobs seeking to find you and what makes
your heart sing. Do not be afraid of change, for life is change, and
you adapt well. Never doubt your instinct, it will always speak true
to you. You know more than you think you do, believe in yourself.
You can have a relatively smooth journey with minimal
bumps and bruising but stay aware, ask regular, well thought out
questions to get well thought out answers. Stay true to your heart
and remember that you only have the current moment. The past is
already gone, the future has yet to arrive and worrying about either
will alter nothing. Be gentle with yourself, strive for everything
and try to make your corner of the world as good as possible. You
cannot fail in all of this. The worst that can happen is you fall
short, but if you aim for the stars, you'll at least hit the moon.
I leave you with all
this information to ponder. If it gets too much, call out for me and
I will be there in your heart to hear you and help you, the same as
you are in my heart for me to hear and ask for help. We are destined
for greatness and abundance and we should expect and strive for
nothing less, for the more we have, the more we can give. Live your
life well and I will meet you somewhere on the path. Until I can
hold you, know that you are at least loved by us.
Wayne
Brown is a facilitator and promoter for life change. Contact him at